10 Types of Mum-Friend

Being a new mum is an exciting but scary thing. Being an expatriate new mum brings a whole heap of additional challenges. Imagine being in a place where you don’t know many people, don’t have close family and friends nearby and the healthcare system is very different to home. This is where the Mum-Friends come in.

Athough a natural introvert, I’ve forced myself to get out and join a multitude of mum and baby groups. Heck, I even started one of my own. The friendships I’ve formed, some shallow and fleeting, some deep and long-lasting, have so far been a safety net through the trials and tribulations of motherhood.

When thrown together, clueless about our new roles as mothers, there’s always enough common ground to share tea and cake and have a good chit-chat. The beauty of parenthood is there’s always something to talk about.

I’ve been on the Abu Dhabi Mum-Friend ‘circuit’ for a while now. I estimate I’ve met a couple of hundred new mums over the last year or so. I’ve observed certain repeated characteristics. Here’s my run down of the top ten types of Mum-Friend I’ve encountered:

1. The Knowledgeable One

Who needs Dr. Google when this friend is around? Whether its feeding, weaning or sleeping, this friend has pearls of wisdom to share far and wide. This friend has their finger on the pulse of the Next Big Thing and is happy to share the intel. When it comes to your latest baby equipment purchase, one can bypass searching around review sites; this friend has already been there, done that and even has a plethora of discount codes to share.

Need one of these? The Knowledgeable One knows where to find it, at half the price.

Need one of these? The Knowledgeable One knows where to find it, at half the price.

 

2. The Flake

Agrees to every mummy meet-up invite only to cancel last-minute on the strength of a creative story involving keys, animals or household maintenance issues. A sick baby would be much too predictable. Thoroughly lovely but your chances of actually getting to spend time with this friend are sporadic and require persistence.

3. The Laid-Back One

When your shoulders are hunched up by your ears after the latest hellish night of teething horrors, go spend some time with the laid-back friend. This is the friend who actually oozes sunshine. To this friend, the world is a beautiful place and babies are to be taken in their stride. Their baby obviously smiles, coos and stays in one place. They stroll through life in an instagram-haze. The relaxing ambience and Jo-Malone scented bliss will rub off onto you and your little one. When visiting this friend, you may outstay your welcome as you don’t want to leave their blissful, Cath-Kidston decorated bubble.

4. The High-Achieving One

This friend manages to go to work, spend time with their baby, cook, do crafts, exercise, plan holidays, attend educational baby-classes, do charity work, read for pleasure, and renovate their home. Just thinking about what they cram into 24 hours is exhausting. Quite frankly, this friend is Wonder Woman. If we could all be half as organised as this friend we’d be grateful.

 

Here she is...the High Achiever

Here she is…the High Achiever

 

5. The Butterfly

A member of 7000 different baby groups and social networks, this friend knows everyone and is actually off to meet more people this afternoon. Unable to stay in one place for longer than approximately 15 minutes, the elusive butterfly straps their baby into a carrier and flutters off to the next gathering pretty sharpish, phone in hand.

6. The Cool One

No scraped back greasy hair, straight-legged pale mum-jeans or baby sick-patches here. This fashionista exudes confidence and has refused to leave behind the days of making an effort. You have no idea how this friend manages to perpetually look like they’ve just left a very cool magazine photo shoot and you are too in awe to ask. This friend is the friend you are aspiring to be when you’ve lost that final 10 pounds of mum-tum and have time to buy clothing that actually fits. No dieting pitfalls here. This friend is your hope at the end of the tunnel.

7. The Boaster

Your baby slept through the night? Mine has been doing that since they were 1 day old.

You struggled with breastfeeding? I didn’t even have to think about it.

Your baby has just learned to crawl? My baby has already been signed up for the Olympic figure-skating team.

Yes, we all know one of these. This friend is actually in the ‘departure lounge’ area of your friends list.

8. The Matronly One

A throwback to the days of a stiff upper lip, nerves of steel and firm parenting principles, the Matronly friend is a reassuring presence in times of uncertainty. Don’t expect tea and sympathy or a warm hug. The name of the game here is straight-talking, wise advice and a bit of a kick in the right direction. The Matronly friend is reliable, steady and likely to double up as the Knowledgeable One.

9. The Sorry One

This friend has the sorriest of sorry tales at all times. Makes your life seem like a walk in the park. Their baby is cute but ever so troublesome. This is the friend who needs to spend a lot of time in the company of The Laid-Back One. Join them and take plenty of cake. You’ll all leave this gathering feeling much better.

This will help The Sorry One feel better.

This will help The Sorry One feel better.

 

10. The Best One

The one you feel like you’ve known forever. A kindred spirit with whom you can totally be yourself, feel comfortable to discuss the good times and the worst times and not be embarrassed to turn up with dry-shampooed hair and patches of concrete Weetabix on your shoulder. They are likely to have Weetabix patches too. No front, no pretence, no need to be something you are not. This friend knows instinctively when to send a message telling you it will get better. This friend brings along the bubbly and cheers you on when you’ve survived the latest challenge. We all need at least one of these in our lives.

Which one is you?

 

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This post is part of the following blog linkys:

The Little Life of Ickle Pickle
Mami 2 Five
Binky Linky
Confessions of a Ninja Mom
A Cornish Mum
My Random Musings

Let's Talk Mommy

Mummascribbles

Friday Frolics
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36 thoughts on “10 Types of Mum-Friend

  1. Of course, my favorite type is The Best One. Unfortunately it’s hard to find this type of moms. I’ve also been to different types of moms’ gatherings and while it’s true that you can always find common topics to talk about, but it’s difficult to make stronger connection with those moms.

    • I agree the ‘best’ one is hard to find, I think we’d all be lucky to find one of these. It can be a challenge to get beyond the superficial baby talk at the mums’ groups but just now and again I find I can ‘click’ with a person and that’s when I know I’ve found a potential longer term friend.
      Thanks for reading!

  2. I think which on I was would depend on the person choosing. I could be a number of these. i found the mums who were honest the most useful. We get to know we are not alone in our struggles. #randommusings

    • I wish my mum-friends had been more honest with me about some things before my baby arrived- the reality sleep deprivation being the main one. But, I can also see they were being kind and leaving me in blissful ignorance 🙂

  3. What a great list! I really enjoyed reading this post. I laughed out loud at the boaster – and baby already joining the Olympics lol there is always one (or more) like that in the group! I’d love to think of myself as the best one. After having 3 kids, I could pass for the knowledgable one too – definitely not the high achieving or cool one lol Visiting from #AnythingGoes

  4. Pretty sure my wife has every one of these types amongst her mum friends. But her Best One lives a few hundred miles away in Brighton, and that’s the one she needs around the most of course.

    • I can empathise with your wife. Being an expat, most of my besties are back in my home country. I’ve been lucky to find a few good close friends here in AD but nothing quite beats my best friends from home, all that shared history.
      Thanks for reading.

  5. I’m not sure which one I’d be, hopefully the best one! I don’t feel I identify with any other one but then maybe a friend would say otherwise ha. I can’t think of anyone I know that are any other than the best one perhaps there’s laid back but not fully laid back! I can only count mum friends on one hand and I have left behind most the boasters and flakers the ones that make me feel poop!x #pickandmixfriday

  6. Cringing a little at the flake! I literally texted someone last week to say i would be late because I couldn’t find my house keys 😀 Luckily she was a laid back one so it was all good x

  7. This is really funny. I hate to say it but I’m definitely the flakey one. I can’t help it, something always comes up lol. But oh man, I’ve ran into plenty of the boasters and they are no fun! #sharewithme

  8. I hope friends say I am the best one hahaha But we all want that don’t we. lol Great list so true too! Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  9. I think I’m the laid back one… but yes when you meet different mummy’s out there, you come across all of those types, lol. Great post! #TwinklyTuesday

  10. Great post Hun, I have definitely met all of these types of mamas 🙂 not sure which one I’d be, there’s definitely ones I’d hope I wouldn’t be considered as though haha!
    #twinklytuesday x

  11. Brilliant brilliant brilliant. Loved this, made me publicly laugh out loud several times whilst thinking who was who in our mummy group. I’d love to share this with them.

    Thank you for the giggle #twinklytuesday
    Nicky

  12. I definitely have the chance of being the high achieving one! I mean, I work full time and juggle a toddler! I just need to find that time I need to bake (I look longingly at my cupboard full of baking equipment), craft (my sewing machine is very dusty), and exercise (I did succeed in this tonight!). I reckon I can be her…if you just added some extra hours to the day and brought in a 3 day weekend! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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